What is The Spoon Theory? The communication tool for invisible illnesses

One of the most difficult aspects to communicate when you have an invisible illness is your limited energy levels. You can look fine on the outside, but on the inside you may be struggling with fatigue, pain, brain fog, etc, which can feel not only overwhelming but draining.

That’s where The Spoon Theory comes in.

The Spoon Theory was created by Christine Miserandino , a lupus patient advocate, in 2003.

The Spoon Theory is a communication method to help those with invisible illnesses talk about the impact to those who may not understand.

The theory goes that you start off with a proverbial 12 spoons. If you’re flaring up, you’re more likely to have 10.

Then you take away spoons in relation to how much energy something takes.

For example:

  • Showering = 2 spoons

  • Taking medication = 1 spoon

  • Going to work = 6 spoons

  • Making dinner = 4 spoons

  • Having coffee with friends = 4 spoons

The measurements for each activity will obviously vary for each individual. I know for myself, on a bad flair-up day with my Lupus, Rheumatoid Arthritis and Chronic Fatigue, having a shower can feel like 8 out of 10 spoons. 

In The Spoon Theory most healthy people have more spoons than they need to get through any given day. But people with invisible illnesses have a very limited number of spoons, so we have to be conscious of what we’re using our energy on.

This theory is an excellent way to communicate to a healthy human, what living with a chronic or invisible illness can look like from day to day and how we have a ‘quota’. 

It’s also a great way for those managing chronic illness to plan and manage their own day.

Personally, I have a tendency to over-do it on “good” days, which leads to crashing and fatigue for days after as I used too many ‘spoons”. When I’m having a good day, I like to priortise my activities and take in to account my “spoons” for the day, so I don’t push myself too far.

So what could potentially help to give you more ‘spoons’?

  • Make sure you’re getting the basics right, like drinking enough water, proper nutrition, and good quality sleep.

  • Ensure you’re sticking to your pain management plan and if applicable, taking your prescriptions correctly.

  • Seeing a counselor or therapist is a great way to support yourself with mental exhaustion and dealing with the trauma of chronic pain. In addition, meditation or EFT tapping are helpful methods for yourself at home.

  • Building out your support team so that you have people who can not only emotionally support you, but physically. This could include practitioners like a chiro or nutritionist, but it can be as basic as arranging for a loved one to cook you a meal once a week.

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The difference between a healthy boundary and an emotional wall

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What’s an invisible illness and how to support those who have it